Living With Quality

"Only those who have cared for a seriously ill person know how challenging--and chaotic--the tasks can be. In Where Souls Meet, Dillon Woods distills his own caregiver experiences and produces a sweetly written plain-English guide that should help new caregivers feel less alone and better prepared. Significantly, the book can be read in small chunks, which fits with most caregivers' personal time limitations and attention spans."

True Ryndes, ANP, MPH
President and CEO, National Hospice Work Group
Vice-president for Public Policy and Advocacy, San Diego Hospice and Palliative Care    

Dear Dillon,

I so appreciated your contributions to the recent symposium in Maryland. Your beautiful voice, the lyrical insights of your songs and your heartfelt remarks all added such a soothing, soulful tenor to the event. Thank you for the work you do!

Ira Byock, M.D., author of Dying Well and The Four Things That Matter Most.

(Author of Dying Well and The Four Things That Matter Most.)

Dear Dillon,

You are a fabulous, caring and talented person. The 'Continuing Care Beyond Cure' Conference was a wonderful success in part, because of you! Please continue to share your inspiring message through words and music. Keep sharing. You are a very sensitive, loving, and insightful individual and I feel privileged for the time we spent together on this project. I will continue to look for your future works.

Regards,

Dawn Johns,

Hospice of Washington County

Hi Dillon,

My name is Angie. My mom, Nancy, gave me your email address and said I should get in touch with you. So here I am... I want to thank you, first, for writing your book, "Where Souls Meet". I cannot begin to tell you what an amazing impact that it had on me. It changed my outlook completely and gave me some courage and peace about dealing with my Grandmothers' condition. I am so grateful that a friend of mine thought to lend me the audio book version. I listened to it the day before I got on the plane to "say goodbye" to my grandmother. I shed a lot of tears, and your book helped me gain so much insight and knowledge and hope as to how I would get through it all. It allowed me, actually encouraged me to talk to my Grams' in a way I probably never would have and that, Dillon, was SUCH an incredible gift! Being able to share your book with my Dad was the icing on the cake. I thought he would blow it off and, understandably, as he was over his head with so much "stuff" in helping his mother deal with her illness. But, the next morning he told me he had stayed up late reading it and what an awesome book it was! As you know, he loved and respected your wisdom and insight, in case that wasn't overly obvious when he ordered a case of books:) - Even though you didn't know my Dad, that was the ultimate compliment!

I also want to thank you for talking with my Mom about my dad's recent passing from a heart attack. She has been so touched by your conversations. It gives me some more comfort, too, knowing that there is one more person, especially YOU, out there helping her to cope with it all. Thank you, Dillon.

With gratitude,
Angie

Dear Dillon,
Your book, Questions... for Quiet Times, is a wonderful tool for people that are soul searching. In my case, there have been significant changes in my life with the official "death" of a seventeen year marriage. Your book has been very helpful to me as I am not quite sure where this detour in my journey will take me...or should I say I am not sure where I want it to take me. I tried to tackle one question a night when I first received the book... but it turned out to be a lot more challenging than it appeared. This is not a book for someone that doesn't take life seriously. If a person is serious about evaluating their life and their relationships I haven't seen a better way to do it. The questions not only encourage you to be honest with yourself but are very motivating and even inspiring, and in many ways healing after a personal loss... at least that has been my experience. My 15 year old daughter thinks it is "fun" to complete this journal as well. You're reaching every demographic! Thank you for sharing your talent, insight and creativity. Your depth is gift for many.
With great appreciation,
Teresa Hastings, RN

"After working with over 350 hospices as a financial consultant and after going through my own experience as a caregiver, I'm convinced that Dillon's work is of the caliber to become the model that hospices and hospitals use for training caregivers and volunteers. His work has deeply changed my views on the subject and I highly recommend his work to professionals in the medical industry."
Andrew Reed
CEO, Multiview Inc.
Herdersonville, NC

Dear Dillon,
Thank you for writing Where Souls Meet. It is a thoughtful and heartfelt book that is full of practical suggestions as well as valuable pointers on how to be with patients and their families in a thoughtful way, not as a guest who must be entertained but as a caregiver trained in listening from the heart... during this most mysterious and challenging time.
When volunteers come to The Hospice Center already trained from another hospice, I require them to study your book or listen to the audio book so that I know they have been trained in a very effective approach in being with those who are seriously ill or dying.
Keep up the good work. We need more quality information and support in this field.
Sincerely,
Walt Dickson
Volunteer Coordinator
PMS/The Hospice Center
Santa Fe, New Mexico

Dear Dillon,
According to the evaluations you were a big hit at our recent convention! You have a wonderfully warm personality that people respond to. Best of luck in your continued work! You've made some new friends in Wisconsin.
Fondly,
Melanie Ramey
Convention Organizer
Wisconsin State Hospice Assoc.

Dillon,
I am a hospice case manager and I thoroughly enjoyed all of your presentations at the conference this past weekend. You have a gift for telling "your story". When you ended with the song "If I'd known", I was in uncontrollable tears. I lost my father to cancer. Daddy was the stabilizing force in my life and to lose him sent me into depression and eventually to a career in hospice work. I applaud you. You are an inspiration to us all.

Doris Vaughans, RN                                
Maryland                                

Dear Dillon,
I would like 50 copies of your book, Where Souls Meet to use as educational tools in two different settings:
1. I am developing 3 palliative care courses at the University of Penn School of Nursing;
2. I am managing a project to develop a "train the trainer" program in palliative care for home care staff.
Sincerely,
JoAnne Reifsnyder PhD, RN, AOCN
Partner, Ethos Consulting Group, LLC
Mount Laurel, NJ

Dear Dillon,
I really can not tell you enough how blessed we are with your audio book Where Souls Meet. Our hospice is relatively new and many of our employees are not experienced in "being" with the dying and their families. I often try to explain how to be "present" with the patient and never really feel I get the point across. Your tapes are priceless in guiding the staff to a level of understanding that I could never even hope to achieve for them. I too have been greatly blessed by your words. After listening, I feel refreshed and centered. Keep up the great work!
Cheryl Matusiak
Heartland Hospice
West Bend, Wisconsin

I absolutely love your book. As home care nurses preparing patients for hospice, my team wanted some insight into the thoughts of the dying and ideas to help them be more comfortable discussing death and dying. I was given a copy of Where Souls Meet, and I think it should be a key reference tool for our nurses.
Thank you,
Georgia J. Smith, RN, OCN
VNA - Oncology Program Director
New Castle, DE

"Where Souls Meet is an excellent book! In my work as an instructor for internal medicine residents, this has become an essential part of the curriculum on caring for the seriously ill. I especially liked the audio-tapes which made it very easy for me to fit this into my busy schedule. In my work as a hospice physician, this book is also one of the best resources for family members of my hospice patients that I have seen."
Charles J. Bentz, MD
Internal Medicine, Portland, Oregon

"As an oncology chaplain at UCLA Medical Center, I am always looking for practical, helpful, and meaningful resources that I can use to help patients, their caregivers, and other health care professionals deal with the overwhelming challenges that terminal illness can present. Where Souls Meet is one of the best resources I have read on this subject. It serves as a deeply moving and personal guide that will lead the reader through the journey that all of us, in one way or another, will someday travel."
Chaplain James Putney, MA
Oncology Chaplain, UCLA Medical Center
Los Angeles, CA

"As a Certified Hospice Nurse and Hospice Administrator I have access to many tools to help both staff and loved ones through the grief journey. Where Souls Meet is both compelling and insightful. From introduction to appendix this book provides each reader with guidance and support through the most difficult time most of us will experience - the loss of a loved one. As we anticipate death, like life, we are faced with many challenges and obstacles. This book offers both inspiration and suggestions to help ease the fear. Dillon writes and shares with a level of emotion and realism that will help both caregivers and professionals alike."
Terry Hastings, RN
Newark, Delaware

"Where Souls Meet is a thoughtful, provocative, practical guide for anyone whose life is being touched by a loved one with a serious illness."
Vivian Janov, MA, M.F.C.
Psychotherapist and director, Primal Institute
Los Angeles, CA

"The book, Where Souls Meet by Dillon Woods, is the best book I have read that serves as a guide for caretakers of chronically and/or seriously ill patients. As a hospice chaplain, I meet many caretakers who are very stressed and have few resources to draw from. VistaCare Family Hospice Office in Carlsbad, New Mexico has gotten ten copies which we are loaning out to the caretakers of our patients. The response I've had from one person who read the book said the same thing I have said, "This book is the best." It provides much needed and many excellent suggestions for caretakers. It should be required reading for every hospice worker."
Elena Yoder, MA
Chaplain & bereavement counselor
Carlsbad, NM

A number of us here at Steven Ministries, including myself, thoroughly read and looked through your material and agreed that it is a very helpful work. It's benefits for hospitals and hospices is tremendous!                
Jeanette Rudder
Stephen Ministries
St. Louis, MO

"I am a hospice volunteer coordinator and we have just started using Where Souls Meet as a volunteer manual. I lost a close friend this week. He was the father of a close family friend. We laughed, cried and stood arm-in-arm as the funeral home wheeled him out the door. I came home and re-read parts of your book and went to bed with a peaceful heart. Thank you for writing it! Many hospices in Texas are "buzzing" about Where Souls Meet -- and for good reason!"
Pam Kite
Hospice volunteer coordinator
Perryton, TX

The Medical College of Wisconsin has added Where Souls Meet to their list of recommended reading. Check out their site at: http://www.eperc.mcw.edu

"Dear Dillon,
Thank you so much for your presentation at our Hospice Volunteer Training Program. It is apparent from your book, Where Souls Meet, that you have a deep understanding of this work. But, what moved me most was your compassion and respect for the trainees. In addition to delivering the information, you allowed the volunteers space in which to process their own thoughts and feelings in a gentle and loving way. It is a privilege to have you involved in our Hospice Program. We look forward to your next seminar."
Guy Birtwhistle
Cedars Siani Medical Center,
Hospice volunteer coordinator
Los Angeles, CA

"Dillon,
Thank you so much for your participation as an executive committee member for our National Cancer Survivors Day celebration at City of Hope. The original song "TO LIFE!" that you wrote and performed in honor of the day was an extra special addition to our event. We are also grateful for your book Where Souls Meet. Resources for effective communication with the seriously ill are especially critical for our caregivers when a cure for their loved one is not possible. Again, we sincerely appreciate you and the work you do."
Linda Baginski
Patient Resources Coordinator-City of Hope National Medical Center
Duarte, CA

LETTERS AND EMAILS

Dillon -- your book is simply tremendous. You tell your "story" so well with occasional humor and a light touch that, in spite of the seriousness of the subject, it makes your book comfortable reading. It is such an important and definitely a realistic part of life although many refuse to face the subject until they are in the midst of the experience with a loved one -- or even themselves. Your book is the kind of guide that would have made many of the years I spent watching my mother's diagnosed Alzheimers (which eventually claimed the lady who was not only a mother, but a best friend) "easier" -- mostly in the sense of knowing what should be done ahead of time, knowing how to cope on a daily basis and knowing there was going to be an end. You write from your heart with your head in place -- realism with love. Great job."
Mary Louise
via email

(From a nurse)
"Hi Dillon
I think your section on "Suicide and Euthanasia" makes a lot of sense but how do you encourage doctors to broach the subject? It is difficult to formulate a set approach to the subject because until you are faced with it directly you cannot anticipate how you or your loved one will feel. Each case is so unique & like anyone on the frontline in medicine, law, & military all difficult moral areas are, in reality, under the "Don't ask...don't tell" rule. It is almost impossible to have general guidelines on how to deal with euthanasia as there is such a wide range of attitudes towards it & limited options available to the dying. What I have found in my experience of nursing is that the will to live is lost by the terminally ill patient once the pain becomes unbearable. What is often seriously lacking is adequate pain relief. The practicalities of acquiring painkillers are so labored by legal bureaucracy to "safeguard" against abuse & medical staff hesitancy that that suffering is prolonged. What is needed is education for all concerned about appropriate pain relief & respect for the wishes of dying people. Medical personnel are reluctant to use their discretion due to the litigious society we live in. Family members are often motivated by guilt to keep their loved one alive as long as possible. If the objective is to keep the dying person comfortable then enough pain relief medication should be given to provide the minimum dose for maximum functioning while keeping them pain free. As health deteriorates larger & larger doses of medication will be needed to achieve this. At some point the dying person usually looses the ability to communicate verbally. To avoid prolonged suffering any non-verbal signs of pain should be taken as a cue to continue medication. What usually happens, and this is where the moral dilemma lies, is that the medication begins to suppress bodily functions & to continue to administer it will mean certain death. Nurses & doctors should be encouraged & supported to keep focused on the objective of a peaceful, comfortable death & be prepared through education to do this. It is a difficult task but also a great act of kindness & compassion. Your book does a good job at contributing to this conversation. Good job!
Maria Smith, RN
via email

Dillon,
Thank you for the presentation you gave recently at the Texas / New Mexico Hospice Conference. You were truly inspirational, so real and authentic.
I am sitting at my computer right now and enjoying the music from your Seasons album. It's terrific!! I started reading Where Souls Meet yesterday. It's a great book. Thank you for your inspirational work and may God bless you always.
Desiree Fix
Hospice Volunteer Coordinator
New Mexico

"As part of our agency's community outreach and education program, we have presented the "Communicating with a Dying Relative or Friend" seminar in San Mateo County for almost 20 years. In our efforts to keep improving this program, we are always looking for relevant material to enhance it. I found your book, Where Souls Meet, and am writing to ask if we may quote from it for our program. Of course, we will give proper credit..."
Linda Siddal
Mission Hospice, Inc.
San Mateo, CA

Thanks, Dillon. It was certainly a pleasure to meet you at the Alabama Hospice Organization's Conference. Your song was so profound and so touching, and I wholeheartedly agreed with every word you said at the luncheon meeting on Friday. Thanks for sharing your soul and spiritual insight with so many others!!